Life can be like a sea saw but instead of it being a fun game like when we are kids, it can become difficult to enjoy, where one side is always so heavy and it feels like the world is coming to end. I’d like to describe this as my mood due to the heavy weight I place on one side. I get affected by all the stress on one end. Like I cant get out, I cant breathe. But if you think for one second, maybe you are weighing on your self too much on one side of life. Everyone today, in this society we all talk about balance and how can we balance our mental state, physical, social, emotional….there are so many states… how can we get the sea saw to exact balance. It’s definitely not the easiest and there will probably always be slight unbalanced but we can be proactive in trying. Everyone is different. For some the issue can be mental, it can be physical but we all probably have something that is throwing our balance of life out of whack. Let me explain.
I just started my full time job. I love my office. I love the energy and the company. I honestly am so blessed to first of all start a full time management position at 22 and right after college… and by right out of college i mean i graduated five weeks ago. I try to appreciate the good in my life, this job, a steady income, my overall health, my friends, my family… Jesus you could say I have it all figured out. But the thing is my sea saw is being weighed down by the constant disordered self image. I feel like I can hardly maintain a relationship without turning into a bad mood because I have to pick apart my body and I am afraid of going out after work because I think I might gain weight. No one else seems to worry.. I mean maybe they do or have their own specific problems; actually I am sure they do but I feel like I always panic at the “lets get drinks” or “lets go out this weekend” question instead of letting loose or having fun and furthermore making friends with my office. While they’re all bonding, I am home worrying about my calorie count. See my sea saw, its weighed down on my self image. I love how fit and strong I am but I need to start finding the balance of self love so i can say yes, I can make friends and I can develop relationships. I can be fucking happy with all the blessings I have.
It is all about mind set. Do you think people in my work place will like me less if I gain another pound? No but ill never even be friends with them if I keep saying no. I need to find that balance where I can breathe and my sea saw becomes fun and happy rather than my mood impacted and frequent panic attacks when I am asked to let loose at 22. This is the time to make friends, to have memories, before you go home to kids, more responsibilities and lets face it, getting old ain’t cool… you have to find the balance of fun. My goals are great in the gym and fitness wise, but not when its only one side of my sea saw. I have to shift my mind set to shift my balance.
Weigh too true 